leftoutintheoc

Halloween isn’t something I usually give two thoughts about. But this Halloween turned out to be a real horror. It started out innocently enough on Friday morning…

 There’s a bakery around the corner from my work that’s been selling presidential cookies. Giant sugar cookies glazed with color photos of Obama, Biden, McCain & Palin. They even have a tally board to count which cookie is the biggest seller (Obama is handily winning by about 200 cookies). Anyway, I order 6 Obama cookies and 6 Biden cookies to take home to Peaches and her Liberal friends. I put the boxes in my car and drove happily to work. 

 Many of my co-workers came to work dressed in costume.  Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud, but I never could understand why adults feel the need to dress up at Halloween. So, it was a little unnerving to me to see twice as many dressed up this year than last year. Since I like to blame everything bad on George Bush, I’m sure this is his fault. Seeing that the economy is in the tanker (we all know that’s Bush’s fault),  I assume that more people are dressing up because we’re in a recession and that just makes people want to be someone else for a day  (even if that someone else is BeetleJuice).

 By the time I got home, little costumed kids were already padding down the street. I hurried in, slipped into my X-Files t-shirt (hey, I can get into the spirit), filled up the candy bowls, oh, and opened my boxed presidential cookies. Then it happened - 

 Upon opening the first box, I was struck by the utter horror of a half  dozen John McCain’s staring up at me. My heart skipped a beat, then it sunk like stone. “That wench at the bakery gave me McCain cookies!” I peeked into the other box, and was relived to see 6 Obama cookies. I had a quick thought of jumping back in my car and driving back to the bakery to return them. Since I live about an hour from the bakery, I decided that wouldn’t be very “green” of me.

 When Peaches came home, I repeated in disgust, “That whore at the bakery gave me McCain cookies instead of Biden!” 

Peaches sighed, “Well, just take them back on Monday.” 

“Can I take back three day old cookies? This is a nightmare.” Then I thought, “Could this be an omen?”

Peaches just shook her head and poked around in the candy bowl, “I’m telling you, this election isn’t a lock. Democrats are getting too cocky.”

The doorbell rang with trick or treaters. Now I have to give candy to little Orange County Republican kids? Don’t they know we’re in a recession? And what’s worse, thanks to me, McCain now has 6 more cookie votes on the tally board. I hate Halloween!

Before I went to bed, I peeked in on the Obama cookies, just for reassurance. Then around 3am, I awoke from a horrifying dream…. I was standing in line somewhere (the dry cleaners? a hotel front desk? the unemployment line? whatever…) and a kid was standing in front of me with a transistor radio ( It’s a dream, ok?). Then, he let out a loud gasp. “Turn it up,”  someone said. The voice coming out of the radio announced “America is in stunned silence today. John McCain has taken an early lead over Barack Obama. If these numbers hold up, this could be the biggest upset in the history of US Presidential Elections.” I shot up out of bed and looked around. Thankfully, it was just a bad dream. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. I thought about waking Peaches, but  she seemed to be really enjoying her Ambien-enduced sleep. Even my dog was sacked out and snoring.

So, now here I am at 4 in the morning, drinking coffee, eating a McCain cookie and just wishing Tuesday would come and go already.

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