1. Despite not having watered my front lawn in about 4 days, my grass seems to have gotten greener.

2. My right-wing-conservative-christian neighbor, pulled his trash cans in immediately after they were emptied on trash day (instead of waiting 3 days as he usually does).

3. My little dog actually pooped on his pee-pee pad, instead off to the side of it.

4.  Despite my pasta, beer and Halloween candy dinner last night, I was down 3 pounds this morning.

5. The skater kid who lives next door, put his ramp in front of his driveway, instead of in front of mine.

6. On my way to work this morning, I drove about 7 miles in the carpool lane without getting caught (whats more, I didn’t even feel bad about it).

7. Susan Lucci got kicked off of Dancing With The Stars (and she even seemed relieved).

And just some general observations - The air seems fresher; my teeth look whiter; my pants fit better; my car runs smoother; my kid’s grades are higher; my complexion is clearer; and my heart feels bigger. Thank You President Obama!

It’s been such an incredible day, I haven’t really had the time (or the energy), to mourn the passing of Prop. 8. Now, thanks in part to the LDS church (mostly from out of state), California will have an amendment in the state constitution taking an essential right away from a single group. I’m angry about this, but somehow, I just have faith that, this too, shall pass. That’s something I get from President Obama’s message. The fight for equal rights will continue for gays, as it has for other minorities. It’s just going to take some time and perseverance. It took 40 years for MLK’s dream to come true.

I think the next issue will have to be revoking the “tax exempt” status from some churches. If these churches are going to politicize from the pulpit, and pass out proposition signs and stickers, in my opinion, they need to be taxed. I won’t go into the whole “Separation of Church and State” argument here - it’s too obvious. However, Thomas Jefferson, thought it so important, he tagged it to the First Amendment of the Constitution. It amazes me that some churches are continually allowed to push their agendas into our government doctrines.

But I have hope that the fight will continue and common sense and equality will prevail. President Obama gives me that.

 There’s a bakery around the corner from my work that’s been selling presidential cookies. Giant sugar cookies glazed with color photos of Obama, Biden, McCain & Palin. They even have a tally board to count which cookie is the biggest seller (Obama is handily winning by about 200 cookies). Anyway, I order 6 Obama cookies and 6 Biden cookies to take home to Peaches and her Liberal friends. I put the boxes in my car and drove happily to work. 

 Many of my co-workers came to work dressed in costume.  Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud, but I never could understand why adults feel the need to dress up at Halloween. So, it was a little unnerving to me to see twice as many dressed up this year than last year. Since I like to blame everything bad on George Bush, I’m sure this is his fault. Seeing that the economy is in the tanker (we all know that’s Bush’s fault),  I assume that more people are dressing up because we’re in a recession and that just makes people want to be someone else for a day  (even if that someone else is BeetleJuice).

 By the time I got home, little costumed kids were already padding down the street. I hurried in, slipped into my X-Files t-shirt (hey, I can get into the spirit), filled up the candy bowls, oh, and opened my boxed presidential cookies. Then it happened - 

 Upon opening the first box, I was struck by the utter horror of a half  dozen John McCain’s staring up at me. My heart skipped a beat, then it sunk like stone. “That wench at the bakery gave me McCain cookies!” I peeked into the other box, and was relived to see 6 Obama cookies. I had a quick thought of jumping back in my car and driving back to the bakery to return them. Since I live about an hour from the bakery, I decided that wouldn’t be very “green” of me.

 When Peaches came home, I repeated in disgust, “That whore at the bakery gave me McCain cookies instead of Biden!” 

Peaches sighed, “Well, just take them back on Monday.” 

“Can I take back three day old cookies? This is a nightmare.” Then I thought, “Could this be an omen?”

Peaches just shook her head and poked around in the candy bowl, “I’m telling you, this election isn’t a lock. Democrats are getting too cocky.”

The doorbell rang with trick or treaters. Now I have to give candy to little Orange County Republican kids? Don’t they know we’re in a recession? And what’s worse, thanks to me, McCain now has 6 more cookie votes on the tally board. I hate Halloween!

Before I went to bed, I peeked in on the Obama cookies, just for reassurance. Then around 3am, I awoke from a horrifying dream…. I was standing in line somewhere (the dry cleaners? a hotel front desk? the unemployment line? whatever…) and a kid was standing in front of me with a transistor radio ( It’s a dream, ok?). Then, he let out a loud gasp. “Turn it up,”  someone said. The voice coming out of the radio announced “America is in stunned silence today. John McCain has taken an early lead over Barack Obama. If these numbers hold up, this could be the biggest upset in the history of US Presidential Elections.” I shot up out of bed and looked around. Thankfully, it was just a bad dream. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. I thought about waking Peaches, but  she seemed to be really enjoying her Ambien-enduced sleep. Even my dog was sacked out and snoring.

So, now here I am at 4 in the morning, drinking coffee, eating a McCain cookie and just wishing Tuesday would come and go already.

Whether you believe that Jesus was the son of God or just an illegitimate son of a carpenter, I think we can all agree that he walked this earth and influenced all he came in contact with. I don’t believe, however that if Jesus were alive today he would be a Christian. I’m pretty damn sure he wouldn’t be a Republican.

McCain & Palin mock Obama for wanting to spread the wealth around. Excuse me for quoting a rubber bracelet, but isn’t that what Jesus would  do? That guy walked around with nothing, and still managed to give bread and fish out in abundance. He gave more than tangibles, he gave love and little miracles here and there. Always giving, yet rarely getting anything for himself. Does that sound like the Republican candidates? 

Do you think Jesus would have taken donations from his followers to buy himself some new sandals, or a couple new tunics? I don’t really think so. Now, I don’t know much about history, but here’s what I know about Jesus… 

Jesus went into places the Pharisee’s would never go. He sat in with gentiles and he befriended a Samaritan, who the Jews didn’t associate much with. He may have fallen in love with a prostitute, who everyone judged, except of course, Jesus. He didn’t really judge much.

And speaking of the Pharisee’s - they were religious leaders who also worked as government officials. Jesus wasn’t too keen on them and they felt the same way about him. Plus, I don’t think they were too happy when he made a mess in the market place - over turning the tables of greedy merchants who were making money in the name of their religion. Could you imagine what Jesus would have done to our Market?

Jesus even saved the life of the male lover of a Roman Centurion. He didn’t go to their house, but he told the soldier that when he went home, his “servant” would be healed. And he was (Luke 7:1-10 - read it with a concordance, so you get the story straight without the skewed translation of King James). Do you think Jesus would vote yes on Prop. 8? I don’t really think he would.

And what about Barnabas? Essentially, Jesus was killed because the Jews didn’t want to kill Barnabas. Can you imagine, Jesus on the day of his trial, telling the Jews, “Hey, don’t kill me, kill Barnabas. He hangs around with terrorists.” Actually, that would have been the truth, since Barnabas was a killer and plotted to overthrow the Roman regime. But, as we know, Jesus didn’t say a negative word about his opponent.

It just makes me sick that these Republican hate mongers think they can laugh at Jesus’ values and his life and create prejudices and impose their hatred in his name. Do they really think we’re that stupid? I can’t wait for the day we get our country back, and flag, and our god (whatever god that may be). I hope that day comes really soon. 

I can’t believe my eyes; I can’t believe my ears; I can’t believe my brain, which is turning into goo; and I can’t believe that people are going to cast votes for these freakazoid, insane wackos. Are people listening to what these two bozos are saying? Really? The real Republicans have got to be embarrassed. They’ve got to be. I’m listening to these two answer every question with a put down of their opponent.

Q: “What’s your answer to the economic crisis?” 

 A: “Obama is a Socialist!”

Q: “What are you going to do about our energy situation?”

A: “Obama is inexperienced!”

Q: “What is going to be your main objective as Vice President?”

A: “Obama wants to spread the wealth!” 

Oh, and by the way, what’s wrong with spreading the wealth? Isn’t that a Christian ideology? I’m not an expert on the bible, but I’ve actually read it. And anyone who’s read & studied the Book of Job knows that giving to the less fortunate was kind of the whole point of the story. I’m going crazy with these hypocritical rats in wolves clothing. 

And what about Jesus? He walked around with nothing but the clothes on his back, giving all he could give for the less fortunate. Isn’t that our mother-flippin reason for being on this Earth? I just can’t think anymore. This McFake and his side kick Wacky, have got me turned around and bewildered. 

Please, don’t vote for them. Please, tell your friends and family not to vote for these two crazed lunatics. I can’t wake up on November 5th knowing that I have to listen to (at least) two years of McGeezer and four years of the Sara “white is right” Palin.  

Oh my god (yes, MY god too), if I  hear “Joe the plumber” come out of her big, lying crevice of a mouth one more time, I’m going to throw my TV into the street (Actually, that’s probably not such a bad idea).  Hey Sara - guess what? We all know that jtp was a Republican plant. We know, Sara. So, you can just shut your lying trap about it.

 Alright. I’m going to go throw my TV off of the Crown Valley overpass. See you on the mainstream media news! 

I asked a male co-worker of mine today if he was going to watch the Dodger game tonight (stereotypically of me, I guess), and he said “No, I’m going to watch the debate.” He then preceded to tell me that he really enjoys listening to Obama. “He’s a smart guy, with a lot of poise,” he said. “I’m looking forward to some change.”  

It was another rough news day, and I just really felt like watching the baseball game. But, after talking to my co-worker, I found myself looking forward to the debate as well. Optimism is truly contagious. I’m tired of being angry. And I’m tired of watching angry people. We’re in a mess, now we just have to roll up our sleeves and get to cleaning. I think I’ll go watch the Phillies celebrate. 

1. Coonskin Caps - While winding up and down the supermarket aisle on my lunch break, I was struck by the sight of a woman wearing a Coonskin Cap (yup - a full on Davy Crockett hat, with the tail and everything). She looked like a normal lady, pushing her cart down the aisle like myself, except of course, she was wearing a COONSKIN CAP. I thought, ‘Now that’s something you wouldn’t see in Orange County.’ Maybe at DisneyLand, but even then, I’m not sure they sell the Davy Crockett hats anymore. One thing is for sure, next time at DisneyLand, I’m going to seek one out and wear it around Aliso Viejo just for kicks.
2. Obama for President bumperstickers - This is a generalization (much like this whole list), because I know there are plenty of Obama supporters in the OC, they just keep it quiet. I was recently at a fund raiser car wash for the local elementary school and saw a mini van with an Obama sticker on it. ‘Right on,’ I thought. Then, the lady driving it got out and started bossing the little kids washing her mini van with “You missed a spot!” and “Don’t wet that part of the car, it’s already dry!” I thought she sure was grumpy for being a liberal (and not too concerned about child labor laws). Maybe that wasn’t even her car.
3. Hookers - There’s a whole group of hookers that hang out by my work. I had no idea they were hookers until a male co-worker of mine told me. I said, “No way, those are transients.” I mean they are extremely overweight, wear unattractively tight shorts and dirty backpacks. He said to me, “What do you expect - Julia Roberts?” 
4. Popeyes Chicken - There may very well be a Popeyes in South OC, but I haven’t seen one. If anyone knows of one, please let me know. I don’t eat chicken, but I would like take my picture in front of one.
5. Adults - OK, there are adults, but not many in comparison to the amount of kids. Don’t believe me? Next Saturday, take a trip to South Coast Plaza or Mimi’s in Mission Viejo, then you’ll see. 5 kids to every 2 adults. blonde haired little tow heads running amok in their True Religion jeans and Ed Hardy t-shirts. Really.
6. Black People - We are in our second home in South Orange County and there is not one black person living in or around our old neighborhood nor our new neighborhood. Our daughter insists there is a black kid in her school. However, I’ve seen the kid and I’d swear he’s Middle Eastern. Anyway, there is one black girl who works at the local CPK. Unfortunately, she’s really grouchy and never offers me refills. I can’t really blame her.